Greed Threads
"I Avoid Shit" Unicorn Bubble Tee
"I Avoid Shit" Unicorn Bubble Tee
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SassVault Exclusive: "I Avoid Shit" Unicorn Bubble Tee
Darling, in a universe full of glitter bombs and bad vibes, this black-as-your-soul tee is your armored bubble of "not today, Satan." Behold the sassy rainbow unicorn—trapped in its own iridescent force field, arms crossed like it's judging your life choices—proclaiming **"I avoid shit because my temper can go from 0 to life in prison in 2 seconds."** Because who needs drama when your inner rage rocket launches faster than a viral fail video? It's the perfect alibi for dodging family dinners, office small talk, or that one friend who thrives on chaos.
Soft as a whispered threat on premium cotton, with prints that pop like popcorn in a microwave mishap, this bad boy hugs your curves (or edges) just right for slaying the day without the cuffs. Channel your mythical menace: unicorns aren't magical—they're just one bad day from felony folklore. (Pro tip: Wear it ironically at therapy. Or not. Your call.)
Bubble-wrap your beefs. Greed level: Nuclear.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | CHEST (inches) | |
| S | 28 | 18 | 34-37 |
| M | 29 | 20 | 38-41 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 42-45 |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 46-49 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 50-53 |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 54-57 |
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